Expiration Dates Are Fun

 After reading a news account of the impact Brexit is having on food availability in the UK, part of the report mentioned how certain items will take a while to get back to normal. For now, things aren't so jolly in ol' England as food shipping has more hoops to jump through to get to the stores shelves. It will all get worked out eventually, but until then they need to make do with what they had. One recommendation was simple, disregard the food "use by" date.

"You don't need to throw out the food if it is past the date on the package. Simply open the package and examine along with smelling it. Does it still smell fresh? If so, use it and don't worry about it" as one food inspector suggested.

I knew it.

After years of being programmed to toss unopened food based on the dates on the package, it's all a ruse to for you to toss it and buy more. The food industry, those vile scheming bastards that brought you cereal sweetened to the point they make candy look like a nutritional boost, have been putting dates on packages designed to make sure you don't hold on to it too long and instead go out and buy more. Crafty buggers.

Expiration dates have always given me pause. First, there isn't just one kind of expiration date; there is a smorgasbord of dates that can be used, though only one shows up on a package. Why? Who decides what date is used? How do they decide how far out the date should go? Is there a testing regimen and standard for determining these dates or is it chosen by a production doofus who takes a best guess? 

The "Sell By" date is pretty clear. If you are at the store and see this date, more than likely any date within a week of this is not good. If tomorrow is the "sell by" date, that's a little too close for comfort. (Confession time: I buy many food items at Grocery Outlet with impending sell by dates. But then, how else do you get a package of bologna for $0.99 a pound?) It's supposed to be information for the food aisle workers to know when something should be pulled, but then wizened shoppers know to use it for a benchmark. I know some of you search around, bypassing the front items labeled 2/14 to get to the ones in the back labeled 2/21, right? 

Then, there is the "Use By" date, mainly for those foods that may sit on your shelf awhile and easily could lose track on how old it is. I had a jar of mustard tucked in the back with a 2015 use by date. It wasn't necessary to have the date, it was an odd shade of orange and had a funny odor that was closer to armpits than condiments. Still, you have to wonder; how do the labelers know how far out their products could last? Do you think there is a special storage area with jars and cans stacked by year in a controlled environment like fine French wine? "Hey, George, go back to the 2017 shelf and get a jar of the Golden Mustard. We'll open it up and check it out." Nah. 

Here's my favorite - the "Best By" date. This is to inform us that using it by this date ensures the food in question is at the peak of flavor. Implied, of course, is that after this date, the product may resemble road sludge after a rainy day. The sell by and use by dates weren't sufficient to adequately present a more meaningful timetable of food goodness, because, it's special. Again, did some company store a series of products produced on different days and then sampled a bunch of products to check and see if the food is still "best"? "Hey, Larry, go grab the Land 'O Lakes premium margarine for the first three weeks of the month. We're sampling all of them to figure out the best by date". After sampling about five margarine packages, my taste buds would be revolting.

There are some other variations - the Expires On, Better If Used By, Best Before, whatever. They are all of the same cloth, someone's best guess of a date the food MIGHT be bad. A rose by any other name. 

Please. Don't try to snow us. These dates are, at best, suggestions, and at worst, lies designed to get the product tossed. The Brexit inspector was right; don't throw away food because of some arbitrary date assigned on the package. Use your Nose!